Jenny Dilts, Grief Coach

Jenny stands as a lighthouse for people in grief. Her naturally calming and soothing personality brings a sense of peace and security to those around her. Jenny’s journey as a Grief Coach began when she sat with a friend days after her husband’s sudden death. Holding that space for her unlocked and ignited a passion for supporting others in their grief. Another pivotal experience for Jenny was guiding a friend through the grief following her sister’s death by suicide. Jenny’s ability to appreciate both the darkness and the light guides others to move forward with their grief, create a new normal for themselves, and build a relationship with Grief and Gratitude. Jenny is the founder of Grieving Coach and host of the podcast Share Your Story where we explore humanity one soul at a time.

My perspectives on death and grief

Death is amazing.

Death can be an incredible opportunity for growth. I’ve always seen death as a beautiful transition. I describe it as a portal into the next phase of life. When the body dies, I believe the spirit, or essence of a person, continues living and progressing. For me death is like a job transfer. The description of the work may change a bit, and the location changes, but the person remains the same– with the same personality traits, strengths, and idiosyncrasies that they had before their death. The knowledge they have gained and relationships they have cultivated in mortality continue to grow with them in their new environment. After our loved ones depart, they still love us and they are still championing our cause. They can help us in our work, sometimes even better than they could while in mortality.

Grief is amazing.

Grieving is hard. Grief is a hammer. It can destroy us and build us up. It cracks us open and exposes our rough edges. When approached with gentle curiosity and compassion, Grief can also be an amazing teacher. Grieving can be a sacred time to focus on the loved ones who have passed, honor them, and remember them. Their presence can sometimes be felt and seen in incredible and miraculous ways. As we go through the grieving process, we can let grief go through us and transform us with tenderness and power and grace. Grieving also provides us with opportunities to reach out to others for help. This can lead to a deeper connection to our own humanity and that of others. As our strength increases, we can begin to feel compassion and empathy for ourselves and others. We can consequently offer support to those who may be experiencing similar challenges. In this way we can forge deep and meaningful relationships that invite us to look beyond ourselves.

You are amazing.

Grief and Loss give us opportunities to change. We can alter our thought patterns, develop amazing strength within ourselves, and receive the beautiful gifts the Universe has to offer. The passing of our loved ones reminds us that life is full of change and impermanence. When we recognize this, we are often motivated to live and love more fully. Our individual grief journeys can be a time for intimate exploration of the powerful emotions which arise: sadness, anger, guilt, curiosity, gratitude, love, and countless others. All of our feelings, regardless of their label, are neutral and healthy. Emotions are not positive or negative. They are insights into our psyche and, as such, provide valuable information about how we process the world and our experiences.

When done in a constructive way, grieving can allow us to expand our ability to cope. As we practice sitting with the discomfort and doing hard things, our capacity to do so increases. This can bring miraculous and incredible changes into our thought and behavioral patterns. Practicing self-care while listening to our bodies and emotions can help us be gentle with ourselves and become more self-sufficient. This can build self confidence and trust that the Universe will not only fill our needs, but satisfy our desires as well.